Twitch Plays Pokémon Religious Text

Here’s something I wrote for an English Homework today, based on the ever-growing-in-popularity Twitch Plays Pokémon and the Almighty Helix Fossil

In a day and age where democracy and anarchy are two terms so vigorously thrown around by humans and animals alike – we have to pick a side. The sinners, however, turn to the false prophet and the democratic side of things however they miss the point of our purpose. We must support the anarchist side in all of us and thrive in an environment where we must follow the commands of our lord Bird Jesus. The world is darkening and although all the time and effort we put into our day to day lives may be to no avail, there is to one deity we can turn to in our time of need.

 We must consult the helix fossil, if it is the last thing we do in our lives. Consulting the God of anarchy will show us the way as we struggle to overcome the greatest difficulties in our life. Alongside his son, Bird Jesus, the first of his kind and ‘DUX’ – the slayer of trees, the holy trinity will help defeat the false prophet and bring an end to democracy one and for all. When democracy was introduced, it offered as a firm rival to the anarchy we were all used to, as when anarchy reigns, we get things done, even if it is messy.

 As our life-journey progresses, days and weeks will pass to no avail but eventually when it is all over, it will only to continue to start again – except without the lord Helix Fossil and Bird Jesus but instead with a new power, one which will not fully surpass but possibly catch up with the omnipotence of the Helix. Ave gloriosa in nomine Helix.


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