Untitled Scripted Comedy – #1

The Situation for This Script is: Two ZooKeepers are doing their normal job when they notice an animal is missing.

To have the chance for your name to be in a post, comment with what the next Situation should be!

Characters: Kevin (Zookeeper 1) , Larry (Zookeeper 2), Radio and Lady

Larry is fairly slim and wears glasses. He is fairly well educated and sensible. Kevin, however, is rather large and not ‘the sharpest tool in the shed’.

Radio: …in other news… several reports of flying deer have been submitted from the local area.

(Kevin turns the radio down to a barely noticeable level)

Kevin: Flying deer? What is this, Cornwall?

Larry: …Actually Kevin… It is.

Kevin: Oh yeah.

(Larry buries his head in his hands)

Kevin: What’s the matter Larry?

Larry: Nothing (aside) Except from being stuck here with you all day…

Kevin: What was that?

Larry: Nothing! … Nothing!

Kevin: Oh. Well… The weather’s nice today.

Larry: It’s raining…

Kevin: Exactly, it keeps the animals happy.

(In the distance, a lion is hiding under a shelter in the enclosure)

Larry: Happy… Would you be happy if you were stuck in an enclosure all day?

Kevin: Well… Not exactly. I wouldn’t mind it though.

Larry: Why’s that?

Kevin: Free food!

Larry: …

Kevin: What? You wouldn’t deny free food!

Larry: …

(A lady comes up to Larry and asks him a question)

Lady: Where’s the lion today?

Larry: He’s ju-

(Kevin runs over to the two)

Kevin: He’s just under his shelter. Over the-

Larry: Kevin! Don’t interrupt me.

Kevin (sighing) : Sorry, boss.

Larry: Anyway, the lion is just under his shelter. Over there.

Lady: Ah, I see him now, thank you.

(The lady walks away and Larry turns to Kevin)

Larry: Kevin! That was unprofessional!

Kevin: I said sorry, didn’t I?

Larry: For that, you have to feed the lion today.

Kevin: But-

Larry: No buts. Go and do it.

(Kevin laughs to himself.)

Larry: Kevin? What’s so funny.

Kevin: Hehe… You said ‘Butts’…

Larry: So unprofessional (Larry turns away)

(Kevin goes to feed the lion, does so, then returns to Larry)

Kevin: Done!

Larry: Good, Good.

(A few minutes pass, when another woman comes up to Larry)

Lady: Excuse me.

Larry: Yes?

Lady: Where is the lion?

Larry: He’s just over there by his shelter. (Larry turns to point at the shelter and notices that the lion isn’t there)

Larry: Kevin! Where’s the lion?

Kevin: I dunno.

Larry: Sorry ma’am. Probably hiding.

Lady: Oh, alright.

Kevin: Hey Larry…

Larry: Yes?

Kevin: If I were to tell you that someone had left the door to the lion enclosure unlocked… what would you say?

Larry: I would be very, VERY angry. Why d’you ask?

Kevin: Well, I may have accidentally left the door open…. and let the lion out.

Larry: What! How d’you know the lion has escaped?

Kevin: Because he’s over there! (Points at a lion, standing just a few meters behind Larry)

Larry: OH F-




I hope you enjoyed this! I found it mildly amusing. Not my best work but a nice little script.

Thanks for Reading,



As always, if you’re looking for a new podcast to listen to. Check out the Sound The Alarm Podcast!


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